Reflections for November
Social Emotional Intelligence
The New York City Marathon is happening this coming weekend. A big week for many runners and supporters. I will be a spectator this year. I have completed 15 New York City Marathon races and potentially leave it at this number as I’d like to leave space for other runners.
What are you thoughts on my experience?
As a long-distance runner and triathlete, I get the concepts of results and winning. I’m the first to admit that I like winning when I compete; I want to know where I stand when I finish a race. Over the years, that has become much easier to do with technology on our wrists: you can check things like different split times, heart rate, and distance in real time. Your ranking among others can also be found electronically, almost instantly. As a weekend warrior, rather than a full-time athlete, I am aware that I’ll probably never win a race, unless nobody else shows up. But I can still compete against myself, and my own previous race results. This is what I strive for, and this is what makes me happy as a weekend warrior. What’s your motivation?
I’ve been very proud to read my name each year in the New York Times after finishing the New York City Marathon as a participant, as they print the names of the first 15,000 finishers. What an honor to find my name there; this has made it special and impressive when I’ve held the paper in my hands. When do I ever have the luxury of being mentioned in the New York Times? (Maybe one day; wait for it! It will come; I’m working towards it…)
When I was taking a class on social-emotional intelligence a few years ago, I introduced myself as a marathon runner. The professor asked me if I had won the New York City Marathon – what a question, and NO. When I told him so, he looked at me as if I was the biggest loser he’d ever seen. During a break, I felt the need to clarify, explaining to him that, while I maybe hadn’t won the marathon, when I finished the 26.2 miles, there were still 30,000 runners behind me trying to finish. There was a very long moment of silence…the professor didn’t really know what to say. But I’d made my point: for me, it was the result that counted, along with my own pride in having completed the whole distance in a reasonable time. It was not about being right or about bragging, but since the class was about social-emotional intelligence, I thought it was important to share my passion for my accomplishment. It was about my self-awareness and self-management, and my achievement orientation. What about this professor’s social awareness and empathy? I was a bit shocked, to say the least; given that he was a professor and an expert in the field, I was assuming he’d display more empathy and inspirational leadership intelligence.
As a reminder, I have completed marathon-distance races 26 times (including 15 times in New York City); I can brag about doing so, because it’s something I really did. I’m certainly very proud of all these marathon accomplishments, because I know they prove my strength and determination. Sometimes, others won’t be able to share their enthusiasm and appreciation for what you’ve done. Let it be, let it be; but don’t let anybody take away your pride or crush your self-esteem. Looking back on it, I’m proud that I went up to the professor to clarify my accomplishment. I think it showed confidence, self-esteem, and self-awareness. Women have to step up and voice their concerns. I know I’m going to keep doing it. Will you?
What is social emotional intelligence for you?
It’s about self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship management and social skills.
💄In the month of November, Lipstick Leadership Lab focus is on LISTENING – Social emotional intelligence is part of it.
✍️Sign up/DM if interested. (a few spots are still available)
🤶December 6, 2024 – Ms. Santa Claus Workshop – DM and reserve your seat.
Photo: smile for a good picture in the NYC Marathon, always
Take it from the Ironwoman Podcast guest: Peggy Abu Arraj reflection on her first New York City Marathon in 2023. What can you learn from her: inspire others, support others.
TEDx Talk, May 12, 2022: Running and Life: 5K Formula for your Success | Susanne Mueller
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